Are you in the ‘have-to-know’ or ‘retaining a little mystery camp’? I am 31 weeks pregnant with Squirt and now there is no doubt that I have a baby bump rather than just added a little to my girth, people are asking if I know what I am having. BFF suggested I say ‘Stegasaurus’ but I have refrained from the sarcasm for once. When I answer that ‘we do not know and are keeping it as a surprise’, the inquisitors are a little shocked. Is it just me? I am interested to ask any mums or expectant mums out there if we are in the minority?
Most of the people I have spoken to have found out at their 20-week scan. It appears to be the norm and the decision not to find out is a little weird. Why wouldn’t you want to know?
Well, we know a lot about the little person growing inside me. We know it is not a Stegasaurus for one thing. We know the heartbeat and length. And we know that whatever sex it’s got a great elbow on it.
I was a late developer on the finding-the-right-person-to-settle-down-with front, Husband only becoming Husband five years ago so I never took it for granted that I would have a family. And it took that five years before I was lucky enough to become pregnant. I think we both had come to accept that it may not happen for us and crazy god parents was our fate.
And so when that fateful test stated ‘Pregnant’ it was a feeling of surprise and excitement that overwhelmed us. After the initial ‘oh… sh*!’ from Husband as we’d just booked a trip of a lifetime to Canada (now cancelled), whether I should be buying pink princess dresses or blue babygrows did not cross our minds. And today, that remains. The biggest decision my friends seem to be concerned about is whether, whatever the sex, Squirt will support the red or blue side of Manchester. Of course, it all boils down to football. Silly me.
Many scans, appointments and tests later, along with literature reading, inevitable Googling and generally annoying BFF with inane questions, our concern was not about the sex of Squirt but about his or her health. It turns out there are bigger things to worry about. All well I am happy to report for this, technically, geriatric mum but still, the 20-week scan is an anomaly-scan – the purpose of which is to pick up serious abnormalities.
Although we are curious and there are times when Husband and I have, at the end of the tether on a call to a distant relative explaining that they will find out when we do, wished we knew. We have even referred to Squirt as him on many occasions, so maybe we do know in our hearts – but referring to the bump as ‘it’ does not feel right.
We daydream too, don’t get me wrong. Everyone does I believe. Will Squirt be the next Sergio Aguero? Or Jo Malone? Our hopes are for health and happiness.
I am not, by any means saying there is a right or wrong to this. I feel lucky to have the choice. But I am happily holding on to the little mystery I will have carried for nine months.